we’re halfway thru april, u know what tht means?
HOW DOES THIS MAKE ME LAUGH EVERY FUCKING YEAR!?
SOMEONE DO A DATE LIKE THIS WITH ME. I’LL EVEN LET YOU TOUCH THE BOOTY.
Now that’s how you get laid boys.
Those women are doing a public service, Chris.
John Mulaney | The Salt & Pepper Diner
THE BEST JOKE IN EXISTENCE
GOD I JUST TOLD SOMEONE ABOUT THIS STORY
This is one of the best pieces of comedy that I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing. I love this. I have been looking for this online for awhile.
Date a guy who opens your jars and wine bottles for you
"please. please stop opening all my jars and wine bottles. I’m not ready for them yet. you’re just letting it all go bad. my whole house smells like wine and pickles and I can’t live like this"
I was told the most hilarious piece of information about an ex today and I’m still laughing about it.
my favorite scene ever
Someone make this happen to a Winchester.
Did William Shatner just ask Hank Green to be on his GISHWES team?
He did, and I really don’t know how to feel about it. Like…he’s William Shatner…does he really need /my/ help?
my friend has black hair and the initials PM while her boyfriend has blonde hair and the initials AM and she told me that they joke that theyre ‘as different as night and day’ and i fell on the floor that shit was so adorable